Freshers' Guide - Glossary

Freshers' Guide

Ahmed
Merton's favourite kebab man.
Alumnus
People who used to go to the college (their alma mater). We tend to boast about Tolkien, Randalph Churchill, T. S. Eliot, William Harvey, Mark Haddon, Mark Thompson, Adam Hart Davies, Louis MacNeice, Basil Blackwell, Thomas Bodley, Roger Bannister…
Battels
College bills, paid at the start of every term.
Brunch
Delicious fry-up every Sunday from 11 o'clock. One of the most popular meals.
Blue
If you represent the University at the highest level in sport, you win a blue. We're dark blue, Cambridge are light blue. See TAB.
Bod
The Bodleian Library. Big place with lots of books (over 7 million), in fact every book published in the UK – means there's no chance to use the "I couldn't find that book" excuse. Includes the much-photographed Rad Cam (Radcliffe Camera – see w*rk).
Bod card
Your university card, used to gain access to the Bod, to take out library books (except from the BOD, which doesn't lend), at Merton, to pay for food, and (most importantly) to gain access to BOPs…
Bop
Fortnightly JCR Entz event, involving fancy dress, drink, dancing, music. Allegedly stands for "Breach of the Peace".
Bursary
Pay your bills and top up your meal cards here.
Collections
College exams, usually at the start of each term. Book tokens if you get a first, but don't worry too much about them. That's what PRELIMS, MODS and FINALS are for.
Coming up
Funnily enough, coming up to Oxford.
DPoP
The Deputy Principal of the Postmasters. Along with the PoP (Principal of the Postmasters), in charge of disciplinary procedures within the College.
Entz
Entertainment provided by the JCR including BOPs, nights out, karaoke and various other forms of "entertainment".
Essay crisis
Common amongst arts students. Involves frantically writing essay with deadline fast approaching, and kettle on the boil ready for more coffee.
Exhibitioner
Someone who gets a first in their PRELIMS or MODS, usually. Wear fancy gowns and have plenty of book tokens.

Finals
The big ones. Usually third year for artists, and end of each year (except the first) for scientists. If you want to annoy a finalist, tell them you're stressed about your PRELIMS or MODS. Works every time.
Fresher
That's you. Fresh-faced and enthusiastic first-years. We look forward to meeting you – hopefully you'll look forward to meeting us too (at least slightly).
Going down
Leaving Oxford.
Graduation
You've finished your degree. Now enjoy the ceremony, the prestige… and the pretty, furry gown.
Hack
Someone active on the political scene for the sake of a principle, that principle being their self-interest and self-aggrandisement.
JCR
Junior Common Room.
JCR exec
The Executive Committee of the JCR. A team of highly dedicated, fantastically intelligent and incredibly nice people who represent you to the College and keep things running smoothly.
Labs
Practical fun for scientists. Usually one or two afternoons a week.
Lectures
Scientists will usually have two or three per morning. Arts students may have one a week, and will then complain about it.
Library
We have quite a few in Oxford, including the College and faculty libraries. There are around 12m books held in Oxford.
Matriculation
Isn't as painful as it sounds. You get talked at in Latin for a few minutes by the Vice Chancellor, and then head straight down to the Turf (not an official part of the ceremony).
MCR
Middle Common Room. Common room for graduate students.
Merton News
Scurrilous gossip rag written by Walter de Merton and the IRO. Regardless of where, what or when it happened, Walter saw it.
Mods
Equivalent to PRELIMS. Exams for subjects such as Law, Biological Sciences and Classics (Classics Mods being particularly evil, with over 30 hours in the 2nd year).

Pidge
Pigeon Hole. Your port of contact with the outside world. Location of all incoming mail and internal notices too. Very exciting when you have something, unless it's from a bank.
Port
Strong, sweet fortified wine from Portugal. Popular with tutors, subject dinners and the TIME CEREMONY. Unpopular with mornings-after.
Postmaster
Someone promoted from an EXHIBITIONER for further exam success. Nothing to do with letters.
Prelims
First year exams in most subjects. They don't count towards your degree, but you can get book tokens and some money off BATTELS for good results. See MODS.
Rowing
"Popular" Oxford sport. Great fun to those who do it, absolute insanity to those who don't. Your view will depend on how much you like 6am starts several times a week.
Rustication
Is as painful as it sounds. This is being chucked out of College for a while, or even permanently, for doing something really bad. Also called being "sent down".
SCR
Senior Common Room. Common room for Fellows, and the Fellows' body.
Subfusc
Official garb consisting of white shirts, dark suits, bow-ties, ribbon-ties, gowns and mortar boards for exams, etc. Very stylish (see packing).
Tab
Someone from the Other Place – variously known as Mordor, Hades, and Cambridge.
Toastie
Bar snack of choice for Mertonians. Available in cheese and ham or Pizza (the editor's choice).
Time Ceremony
Ancient Merton tradition, founded in 1971. Walking backwards around Fellows' Quad when the clocks go back ensures that mystical time particles ("chronicles") don't disrupt the space-time continuum. Vital for the continued existence of the Universe – play your part!
Trousering
Tradition where people whitewashed at pool or table football have their names written on the games room notice-board. In theory obliged to walk around Front Quad with their trousers down, however this is no longer enforced.
Tutorial
Involves you and maybe a few other undergrads discussing your essay with your tutor. The jewel in the crown of the Oxbridge system, climax of the academic week, and not as scary as it might seem. Really.
Warden
The head of the College. Currently the esteemed Professor Dame Jessica Rawson DBE, DLitt, FBA, MGS, FAB, SiG.